


Chaotic Rebirth

by wyr_d



Series: Destruction and Rebirth [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Grief/Mourning, I'm sorry but I'm really not sorry, M/M, More Feels, Post TFA events, Post-Canon, Sequel, Series Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 12:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6329866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyr_d/pseuds/wyr_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew what this meant, <i>he knew</i>. It felt as if his heart was being pulled out of his chest and his body was being set ablaze. He was burning, just as the General had in his dream, and nothing could stop the flame that licked his skin. Rage, sadness, chaos, darkness; they quickly surfaced and consumed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chaotic Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> The companion part to Eloquent Destruction from Kylo Ren's POV. You can read this as a stand alone, but if you read Eloquent Destruction you may understand what exactly is happening.

“What is it Ren?” The General looked up at the Knight who stood, hovering above his desk like some proverbial bird. Kylo had entered the room soundlessly and had to suppress his surprise when he discovered the General had indeed noticed his appearance.

“I came to inform you I will be departing in one standard hour.”

Hux did not look up, he continued his work on his datapad and hummed quietly in response. Despite himself, Kylo found he was irked by the General’s lack of attention – why, he did not know. The Knight refused to move and continued to hover over the General until he gave him proper acknowledgment. It was not in Kylo’s nature to be this petty, but he was bothered by the General’s lack of attention and was slightly bored. He figured annoying the General was a good outlet for his boredom.

Sea green eyes finally slipped upwards and fixed the masked Knight with an angry scowl. Hux was finally annoyed by the Knight’s stubborn lack of movement. Under his mask, Kylo smirked to himself – feeling something akin to victory surge through his veins.

“Is there something you _need_ Ren?” The General’s tone was icy; Kylo’s smirk widened.

“Nothing in particular General, but I thought you may have gone deaf because you never responded to my statement.”

Hux scowled at the sarcasm, his pale face contorting into thinly veiled rage. Some part of Kylo enjoyed the way Hux’s face scrunched up with rage.

“Yes, you are travelling off the ship in one standard hour, how wonderful. Now can you please leave me be.” The General sneered at Kylo before waving a hand in a shooing motion. The Knight felt rage spark across his features and before he could stop himself he had grabbed Hux’s hand that had been so keenly shooing him. He gripped the rather petit hand swathed in soft leather and let out a low sort of growl.

“Do not treat me like I am some worthless child.” Kylo snarled, his voice low and deadly.

“Then stop acting like one.” The General was starring impassively at Kylo’s mask and he did not even flinch as Kylo’s grip on his hand increased to a painful level. After a few seconds of staring, Kylo let go of Hux’s hand and stormed out of the room. As the office door swished shut behind him, the Knight reached into the Force and plucked the datapad the General had returned his attention to from his hands and sent it flying into the office wall. He could hear the General’s muffled shout of rage as he continued down the corridor. He let the smirk return.

While he could not win verbal battles he could still cause Hux problems.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ [ .o0o. ] ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

He felt jealousy burn through him. So he punched the wall. When that did not ease his rage and jealousy he reached for the lightsaber at his waist and activated it with ease. He swung at the control panel, but his burning sword never touched the metal as a loud (and very angry) voice halted his movements.

“REN!”

The General’s shriek made him falter and he turned slowly to catch a glimpse of the man who was currently the reason for his actions – not that the General knew that. Hux’s expression was livid as he strode into the control room and paused before the hulking Knight. No fear was found in Hux’s eyes despite the fact he was standing in front of an angry and unstable Sith who had a death grip on an activated lightsaber.

“Put that thing way.” Hissed the General, his eyes narrowing in challenge.

Kylo obliged, but moved painstakingly slow just to aggravate the General more. In the low hum of the control room, both men stared each other down.

“What caused this?” Hux asked, his voice softening in the slightest. Kylo was taken aback by the question. Usually Hux would start yelling and Kylo would snap something smart back and then the two would both walk off embroiled in their own rage and refuse to talk for a good three cycles. This change in the game caused Kylo to falter for a second, but only a second. He managed a response in the end.

“A certain officer caused me some…aggravation.” Kylo chose his words carefully. He did not wish to divulge any more, knowing it would give away something he wasn’t yet ready to reveal.

The General huffed in response, drawing his hands behind him as he usually did when he was idly standing anywhere.

“I know that feeling.” The words came out like a whisper and Kylo thought he had misheard the General for a fraction of a second. Under his mask, Kylo’s brows creased in slight confusion; was the General trying to be friendly with him? Kylo relaxed into the attempt at amiable conversation. He would savour these few moments of gentleness for as long as they would last.

Kylo chuckled in response to the General’s statement and he nodded his head slightly.

“Yes, sometimes certain officers can get your blood boiling.”

Hux nodded in agreement with Kylo’s statement, something dark passing across his features – a memory resurfacing unbidden as it seemed.

“Especially the incompetent ones. I cannot help but wonder what the Academy is teaching these days. I certainly need to look into their protocols.” Hux stated, a dark chuckle rumbling in his chest.

Kylo found his breath catching slightly at the sound. He had never heard the General laugh or show any sort of mirth. Well, a dark chuckle was not mirth per se, but Kylo liked the sound nonetheless. As it seemed, both Hux and Kylo were speaking of different forms of aggravation, but Kylo said nothing against the direction Hux was taking the conversation. Kylo did not wish to reveal the reason behind his aggravation. Nor the name of the officer who had caused it.

“Yes indeed General.” Kylo replied, nodding sharply in assent. The General let out the smallest sighs and adjusted his greatcoat before returning his attention to the Knight.

“Well, I should get back to the bridge. Please do not try to destroy anything Ren.” The General’s words were not laced with their usual barbs. He tried to make them sound sharp, but they came out like a fragile statement rather than a harsh order.

The Knight nodded sharply, not wishing to speak and ruin this softness that was blurring the edges of the usually sharp General. With that said, Hux slipped out of the room with military precision and disappeared down the corridor. Kylo watched him go, feeling something else nudge his heart – something he did not know he had.  

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ [ .o0o. ] ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The dream dissipated as quickly as it came and the after effects left Kylo panting and breathless. His eyes flew open immediately and his lungs were burning as he sucked in air hungrily. He lay on his back, staring up at the black ceiling above him, for a few minutes until his breathing returned to normal and the dregs of the dream had passed out of his mind. It had seemed so real. The destruction, the flame, and the death. He felt his muscles contract and relax as if they had been expecting the scene his mind had played out for him to be real.

He had been burning. It had seemed so real; too real. Hux had been consumed in an ever growing flame and Ren had been unable to do anything but watch and scream for him. Hux had never turned, never acknowledged Kylo’s presence, he had just kept staring forwards. His hands clenched behind his back and eyes set straight ahead – just like always – as he braved his death. Kylo had been trying to reach for him, but whatever had been holding him back he could not fight against and win.

Quickly, his head snapped to his left and he breathed a small sigh of relief when he found Hux was still curled up beside him, snoring slightly. Kylo’s panicked expression passed when he knew that Hux was safe. Not dead, not somewhere in the vastness of space, he was here in Kylo’s bed and was drooling slightly. Chuckling to himself, Kylo rolled over to draw the pale man up into his arms and sighed softly into the crook of the General’s neck.

The smaller man stirred slightly, but he soon fell back into sleep and was back to his gentle snoring. Kylo wondered if the General knew he snored. Probably not. In the darkness of the room, the Knight marvelled at how he probably was the only one who knew Hux snored when he slept. Kylo had never imagined he would be in a position like this with this man of all people, but waking up and finding Hux beside him had become quite the norm. It had reached the point where if Hux was not there the Knight felt frustrated.

Pulling the ginger man closer to him, Kylo breathed in Hux’s scent and felt himself slowly drifting off back into the darkness of sleep. A wave of contentedness washed over the Knight as he was pulled into sleep; he wished he could stay like this forever. Some part of him knew this, whatever it was, would not last forever, but he crushed the feeling and buried it deep. He did not want to think of that. He did not want to think at all, really. So he didn’t think, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ [ .o0o. ] ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Kylo woke to the sound of Hux moving, pulling away from him. His immediate reaction was to hold him closer and that was what he tried to do, but the smaller man slipped from his arms despite his attempts to keep him there. His eyes flew open and he blearily realized that Hux was needed elsewhere. Somewhere in his sleep hazed mind he knew that Hux had a battle to attend somewhere in the reaches of wild space. First Order intel had discovered the traces of a Resistance fleet and the General was meant to engage what was supposed to be a small group of Resistance ship in battle.

Kylo guessed the General was slipping away to shower and prepare himself before his shuttle flight to the _Finalizer_ that was currently orbiting the planet. When the ginger man came close enough to the bed, Kylo reached out and snagged his small waist in his hands and pulled him close. The General hissed out his name in protest, but Kylo was too preoccupied with nuzzling Hux’s waist to respond.

“Promise me you will come back in one piece.” The Knight stated, his words were muffled as he had pressed his head into the General’s uniform. What prompted these words was the memory of a nightmare he had experienced months ago. The burning and the destruction had flitted across Kylo’s memory and he felt an erratic pang of worry rise in his chest.

Kylo heard the General emit a soft sigh and felt the soft strokes of the General’s petit hands in his black locks; calming him with his touch. The hands left his hair and the General pulled from his grasp, a kiss touching Kylo’s head before the General made his way for the door. Before he exited Kylo heard Hux speak.

“I promise you Kylo, I will return.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ [ .o0o. ] ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Pain, pain beyond any other pain he had ever felt shot through his body and blinded him. Kylo had been in his quarters, moving through his training exercises that Snoke had given him when he had fallen to his knees; pain laying waste to his body. No, it was not his body that was in pain, it was his heart. Something was being burned out of him. The words left his lips before he could stop them.

“Hux.”

He knew something was happening to him. He knew the General was in danger. His pain was being amplified across the vast expanse of space that separated them and Kylo could feel it. The General’s pain was ricocheting through him at an intense speed and Kylo could feel the General calling him. He did not question how Hux was reaching him, rather he was too busy dealing with the whirlwind of emotions and memories that were flowing through him via the General’s mind.

Past memories of him and Hux together seemed to blur across the Knight’s consciousness. They clashed and collided and soon Kylo realized he was crying. He could not stop the white hot liquid that seeped from his eyes and carved rivers into his skin. Suddenly, the pain reached a peak and Kylo could hear each and every cell of the General calling his name.

Then there was nothing.

Hux was gone, his presence no longer found in the Force and this is when the Knight cried in earnest. He knew what this meant, _he knew_. It felt as if his heart was being pulled out of his chest and his body was being set ablaze. He was burning, just as the General had in his dream, and nothing could stop the flame that licked his skin. Rage, sadness, chaos, darkness; they quickly surfaced and consumed him. He did not know how long he spent on the ground. One minute he had been crying, the next he was howling with rage.

Everything passed in a blur until he came back to his senses, the coldness of the metal floor below him seeping into his skin. He paid the cold no heed. He might as well get used to it as he doubted he’d ever feel warmth again – not with the General gone. His hands turned to fists against the cold floor below him and he heaved from the rage and sadness that slowly merged into one. The Knight’s quarters were silent except for the sounds of his chest moving erratically as he steadied his breath. As the cold silence washed over him, he closed his eyes and clenched his fists – he knew what must be done.

He would finish what had been started; what _they_ had started.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ [ .o0o. ] ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

A red lightsaber ignited in the darkness; its harsh color dying the blackness red. The hand gripping the handle was firm and the man moved forward with a purpose that no one could touch. He raised his weapon high and his dark brown eyes roved over the troops standing before him – the touch of a smirk dusting his features.

“Today we are victorious! The First Order has risen above the Republic and the Resistance! Our victory is at hand!” The man’s voice reached across the waves of Stormtroopers that met his words with shouts of determined joy. “Now go, make the First Order proud and show our might! The strength and purpose we have been given so we can rule!”

 He watched as the troops and ships moved out with calculated military precision; black hair billowing behind him in the wind as he did so. The First Order had come so far and they had grown so strong. He felt pride well up inside of him as he viewed the fleet that would crush the Resistance and finally enact the revenge that he had craved for so long. _Finally_ , he thought to himself, _everything will fall in place today_. The chaotic rebirth of the new Order was just beginning. His eyes slipped to the skies and he allowed himself the briefest of smiles.

His General would have been proud.

**Author's Note:**

> I should be studying because I have a quiz tomorrow but here I am. This is the final part of this little series I ended up doing but hadn't planned on doing? This was surprisingly fun to write so I hope you guys like it!
> 
> Also, if you are at all curious (you probably aren't but it's ok I like to pretend people are), I do have a [tumblr](http://theriseofthefirstorder.tumblr.com/) where I post my ~~very dorky and gay~~ swtfa art.


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